PART THREE- A Crazy Belief

Part three of four tales highlighting the multifarious nature of the celebrity status that comes with being one of seven foreigners in rural China...      

Later that week Francis called on me once more, this time with a more ambiguous request. A student from his English class had asked him to wrangle me over to the local high school to speak. After still feeling the afterglow of my lecture success I agreed, though begrudgingly, to go. When Francis and I piled into the cab he confessed to me that he had absolutely no idea what we were doing. It seemed utterly incomprehensible to me that a teacher of his status would agree to be dragged around by one of his random students, but Francis admitted he felt obligated. While this was disconcerting on some level since I had no idea what I was being asked to do or speak on, it was also comforting to have Francis as a clueless ally. 

Upon entering the gate of the high school the guard dropped the name Li Yang, which immediately caused Francis to exclaim, "ahh." I asked what was wrong and he replied "Crazy English." At this point my only association with Crazy English or 疯狂英语, was the cult-like gathering of students in the darkest shadows of campus to scream random English phrases into the cold night air. Li Yang, the charismatic leader of the Crazy English program, claims to have "a crazy belief."

Taigu Erzhong High School

From what I can surmise the program is designed to help Chinese students master the English language, "for our future, for our families' happiness, for our families expectations, for our motherland's prosperity, and for world peace," to quote the Crazy English textbook now in my possession. The "crazy" part appears to come from the idea that, in order to break through Chinese students' immense fear of loosing face, the English language must be screamed in large groups at the top of one's voice, preferably in the dark. Unfortunately, this seems to make students very good at shouting nonsense English phrases at top volume and doesn't necessarily translate into their ability to actually communicate.

 

Nevertheless, in that particular moment I found myself standing on a raised platform in front of a small amplifier as Francis leaned in to pick up the microphone. An audience of about 50 high schoolers had formed an amorphous blob around us, and I was apparently about to teach my first Crazy English class. With absolutely no idea what to say or do, Francis proceeded to feed me things to say and questions to ask the blob. They excitedly volunteered and one-by-one scurried up to the stage to shout textbook-perfect sentences into the microphone. At some point a copy of the Crazy English textbook found it's way into my hands and I found myself leading the students in something akin to a sermon. I have copied Li Yang's "My Crazy Belief" in its entirety below for your viewing pleasure.

"I am a high school student of the 21st century. I was born in a great age and a great country. I have a brilliant future ahead of me! I am full of hopes and dreams! I also shoulder great responsibilities and missions! I have unlimited confidence– I will conquer English and make my country stronger! I know that with great determination, perseverance, and passion, I can destroy all difficulties! 

From this second on, I will hold firmly in my mind a crazy belief– The questions on exam papers are the best English learning materials in the world! When I can blurt out all six books of the Five Minute series, I will be second to none! I will strictly follow the tapes whenever I am studying English. I will carefully imitate sentence by sentence. Only after being able to thoroughly blurt out a sentence will I move on to the next one. 

I'll always take along this book with me wherever I go, so that I can crazily practice English all the time. I'll work harder and harder till every single word, sentence, dialogue, and exam paper become a part of me! Before long, I will make miracles and be totally outstanding! I possess unlimited confidence to conquer English– I can make it!"

A book in Li Yang's Crazy English series

 I went line-by-line, reading it aloud into the microphone as the chorus of young hopefuls followed along. With each line my eyes grew wider and wider, until the full impact of its message washed over me. I marveled at the miraculous correlation between imitation, memorization, and a bright successful future. The strong collectivist feeling that one individual's success directly furthers the progress of his or her mother country. The ferocity of the rhetoric with which mastering English was expressed. Words like "conquer," and "destroy," made me wonder if the American media wasn't entirely off the mark, perhaps China was in fact out to vanquish America, even using our own language against us! (Of course I don't actually believe this... ) And lastly, Li Yang's brazen self-promotion, just purchase every book in the series, study like hell, and then you too can "make it." It's that simple. I suppose this is no different from any other self-help book I've seen on the shelves of Barnes and Noble, large sweeping claims, life-changing results, all for the price of this product!

After an indeterminable amount of time, once the sermon was exhausted and the students had asked their fill of questions, the baggy track-suited crowd of high school students of Taigu Er Zhong dispersed as quickly as it formed. But not before seizing the opportunity to satisfy their insatiable need for a group photo with a foreigner. Before I knew it they had seized my arms and we were squeezing into a photo while Francis clutched my camera and grinned widely.   

The students of Taigu Erzhong taking full advantage of this rare photo op

Walking out of Taigu Erzhong I couldn’t help but wonder what the futures of these bright-eyed students would look like. In terms of their English language skills, they seemed to have reached a far higher level of English competency than my graduate students. In a country as tremendously populous as China, perhaps those that can “blurt out all six books of the Five Minute series” will in fact be the ones who shine.